What Agents Should Watch for When Clients Are Moving for the Wrong Reasons

You can usually hear it in their voice. It’s not excitement. It’s not nerves. It’s a kind of urgency that doesn’t match the moment. You ask why they’re moving, and they give you something vague. They say they need a change, or they’re tired of this place, or they want to start over. It sounds like a plan, but you’ve done this long enough to know better. Sometimes, your clients are moving for the wrong reasons, and if you’re the one referring them and earning a commission, that matters more than most people think.

Red Flags in the “Why”

There are clients who know where they’re going and why they’re going there. Then there are the ones who are just running. They won’t say it out loud, but you can tell by the way they answer simple questions. They’re restless. Sometimes they’re angry. A few are heartbroken. But all of them say things that should make your ears perk up.

When a client says, “I don’t care where, just somewhere new,” that’s a signal. When they say, “I just need out,” that’s another one. They might talk about getting away from their job, or the weather, or a failed relationship. None of those things are bad to leave behind, but when the reason isn’t grounded, the move usually isn’t either.

This is when you slow down. Ask what’s really going on. You’re not there to solve their life, but you are there to make sure you’re not handing them off in the middle of a storm.

The Emotional Baggage Behind the Boxes

Some people treat relocation like a magic trick. They think if they change cities, their problems won’t follow. You and I both know better. That kind of thinking only makes things worse.

When a move is powered by grief, burnout, or fresh drama, it rarely sticks. People land in a new place and realize the baggage came too. They feel disoriented. Regret creeps in fast. And then they call you or the local agent asking if they can undo it all.

That’s why spotting moving for the wrong reasons before it turns into a bad referral saves everyone time and heartache — especially in an interstate move. You don’t have to psychoanalyze them. You just need to pick up on the mood. Pay attention to how they speak about the move. Are they hopeful? Are they planning? Or are they venting?

You’ll notice the difference. Most of us have made that kind of move once. The kind where you pack everything, leave town, and think maybe that’ll fix it. That’s not a strategy. That’s escape.

Spotting a Crisis Disguised as a Decision

Some people have a good reason, but bad timing. Others don’t have a reason at all. They’re just chasing relief. If you’re going to refer them, you owe it to yourself and the next agent to check the foundation.

The best way? Ask better questions. Not just “Where are you headed?” but “Why now?” and “What’s changing for you?” and “What happens if you wait a few months?” These aren’t invasive questions. They’re clarifying ones. They give the client space to hear themselves talk. That alone can tell you everything.

If their answers come fast and vague, they probably haven’t thought it through. If they say the same thing over and over, they might be convincing themselves as much as they’re trying to convince you.

And if they’re set on going anyway, at least help them walk in prepared. Sometimes the best thing you can do is advise them on avoiding expensive relocation mistakes. It’s practical, it’s blunt, and it’s something they can use before the moving truck shows up.

Your Role Isn’t to Convince—It’s to Connect

You’re not a therapist. You’re not their best friend. You’re the person who connects them to the next step. But that doesn’t mean you rubber-stamp every lead that comes through.

When someone’s moving for the wrong reasons, and you pass them along without pause, it reflects back on you. If the move goes sideways, your name is in the mix. You lose credibility with both the client and the agent on the receiving end. That’s not worth it. And if you provide honest advice, you build client loyalty in the long run.

A good referral isn’t just about matching someone with a place. It’s about matching them with the right time to go. If that’s not now, say it. Be honest. You don’t have to talk them out of it, but you can slow them down long enough to rethink it. That’s part of the job too.

When the Move Is Right, but the Timing’s Off

Every so often, you’ll run into someone who should move—but not yet. Maybe they’re going through a divorce. Maybe they just lost a job. Maybe they need a few more months to get grounded.

In those cases, your job is to plant seeds. You can connect them with a local agent who’s willing to chat without the hard sell. Maybe they get advice. Maybe they map out a timeline. Maybe they don’t move for six months, but when they do, they do it with a clearer head.

You can also help with small steps. Temporary housing. Short-term storage. Rent instead of buy. These aren’t flashy, but they’re smart. They give the client space to breathe and plan. Not panic and react.

Keep in mind, not every relocation needs to be fast. Some of the best ones take their time.

Send Them Forward, Not Sideways

Every agent has a story about the client who moved and regretted it. Not because the place was wrong. But because the reason was.

When you sense a client is moving for the wrong reasons, don’t rush to hand them off. Press pause. Ask a few more questions. If you’re still unsure, wait. Your role is to help people find the right agent at the right time. Sometimes that means telling them to stay put for now.

It’s not about holding anyone back. It’s about sending them forward, not sideways. That’s how you protect your reputation. That’s how you keep your referrals clean. That’s how you help people move with purpose, not just motion.

Author bio: Julie Foster specializes in connecting buyers, sellers, and agents with the right professionals. She is passionate about simplifying the real estate process and in her free time she enjoys travelling and exploring new locations.